Affirmations versus confirmations
I was speaking with a client last week about how important it is to be aware of what she tells herself. She had said she was hopeless at something. I pointed out to her what a terrible affirmation that was and that your word is your wand.
The priceless thing about having a coach of sorts is that they can pick things up and catch you saying or doing things that you are not even aware of because it is just your ‘normal’ activity. Friends and family don’t usually catch it or say anything because to them it is also just ‘you’ or they have a vested interest in not wanting to upset you.
However it is these common threads that you speak and hence BELIEVE that keep you exactly where you are in your life. Everything you have in your life … all of your results, bills, money or lack of, relationships, health … everything is a result of your beliefs and what you say.
So this client began telling me about other affirmations she had written down and either told herself, or put to music and listened to over the years.
Straight away there were two things I picked up that got my alarm bells ringing. The first was this:
When we say affirmations they always seem to be for things we desire or do not believe we have. I am a multi millionaire (Meaning … I have no money or currently am not one) I have amazing health and vibrancy (do I have this or want this or fear not having it?) I have an amazing relationship with my spouse and kids (again a belief or a wish?) I am motivated, disciplined and focused and so on. They can be formed on the basis of what we do not have or do not believe about ourselves.
While there is nothing wrong with wanting more and to do better in life, which is a natural part of our growth process, we spend so much time and energy focused on what we do not have that we forget about what we do have and where we are doing and have done well. Our self-talk is generally fairly negative to say the least and no wonder when you look at what we are focused on.
So it is important to reflect on your life and recognize where you have done and are doing well and include those ‘confirmations’ into your daily routine of affirmations. Find successes in your financial, physical, and mental, health, relationships, and vocational and social areas of your life. Go to a specific time in your life where you were motivated, focused, disciplined, or well off or in a fantastic relationship and cement that belief, that ‘knowing’ into your consciousness.
The second thing I picked up is, it is important to understand how the conscious mind works:
We usually think we are in control but the conscious mind only controls ten percent of our brain. The subconscious controls the larger portion (About 60 – 70 percent … the unconscious twenty to thirty percent)
The subconscious is where all our ‘data’ is stored and played. It has no right or wrong, good or bad reasoning it just continually plays what is stored from all of our past thoughts, beliefs and conditioning.
Now the conscious can absolutely control the subconscious programming for periods of time while it is focused. We know this because we are able to control subconscious behaviours such as blood pressure, heart rate and moods etc. However when the conscious mind is not focused the subconscious takes over again and runs the pre-recorded programs from our past.
It is very important to realize how easy it is to lose focus. Lets try it now for example. Pick something around you like an object in the room. Maybe it is a lamp or a door. Now I want you to focus on that object and nothing else for as long as you can, go. How long did you last? Seconds? Minutes? Do you see how easy it is to get distracted from the conscious mind? The subconscious is said to be more than a million times more powerful than the conscious mind.
So when we tell ourselves affirmations we are trying to project from the ten percent conscious mind into the sixty to seventy percent subconscious mind what we want to happen. It is the equivalent of playing a tape or now-days a CD or MP3 in a stereo and yelling at the stereo to play something else. While we are focused the voice that is the loudest may be the conscious but as soon as we lose focus BAMM the sub is back in control.
And because it has no right or wrong button the subconscious hears our affirmations as a big ‘I don’t have that’ and that’s exactly what it produces more of.
A far better exercise would be to learn how to erase or at least change the preprogramming in the subconscious mind don’t you think? Then you don’t have to be so concerned about the conscious/subconscious mind battle.
There are a few different ways to do this and Kinesiology, desensitization therapy, Psych K are a few that I have experienced but by far the most profound that I have come across to date would have to be Beta Release or Alpha alignment technique and the Quantum Shift processes. They are real and measurable way of accessing the most powerful part of us and recentering it so we have a different perception of what actually happened.
Then we are free to think feel and believe what we want.
If you do say affirmations, remember it is important to say and feel like you have already got it.