Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning you fall in love with your partner...
You wait with baited breath for their calls, Crave their touch, and love most of their idiosyncrasies and what you don’t like you more than happily put up with because it seems more than worth it.
Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love – you let go and just fall. It just happens. People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet” Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Once the ‘honeymoon period’ wears off things start to change. The way we literally FEEL about each other changes.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is often not welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were ecstatically in love and a much duller, resentful or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances like drugs or alcohol. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few months or years later – just with a different person.
Why should you experience this?
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are just as predictable as the law of gravity.
Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling. When you decide to MAKE it work you are making a commitment to each other that your love extends past the idiosyncrasies to a far deeper level and the rewards become just as deep and fulfilling.
Remember this always: God/Spirit/Universe or whatever you believe in determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥
At Lifetorque our aim is to assist couples to be the very best individuals that they can be and then bring that individual and all their strengths and vulnerabilities to the relationship. In doing this they are able to connect with their partner from a completely different position – one of empowerment not need and have the level of relationship they always dreamed of.
It is also important to us that you get to do this at a time and place that you feel most comfortable and where better than your own home? With just a few regular Skype sessions you will be well on your way to reigniting the spark in your relationship.
If you want to find out more about Courageous Couples Online please enter your details in the box below. You will also receive a free ‘Wheel of Life’ tool designed to give you a bird’s eye view of your life to see what areas need improving and ways on how to do just that.